Looking Back at 2021

Looking back on the year and one word comes to mind for me - healing. 2021 brought on a lot of challenges and I'm doing my best to heal emotionally, mentally and physically. 

I've been in a constant state of worry and anxiety for almost two years since the pandemic began, and I'm working to find my new normal and calm myself through daily mediation & movement. Feeling more comfortable to socialize with our family and friends has really helped after being isolated last year. Greg and I were vaccinated as soon as possible but are continuing to live cautiously as Jack's age group is not eligible yet. 

Our family was sick a lot this year (thanks daycare) - between regular colds, stomach bugs, a weird possible reaction to the vaccine that caused near paralysis in my wrist joints for 3 months, laparoscopy surgery that had me down and out for longer than anticipated and now physical therapy to hopefully, finally get the chronic pain that has ruled my life for 4 years under control. 

There were many bright spots in 2021 - most pertaining to the light of my life, my son. Parenting during these unprecedented times has been so difficult but also rewarding. Spending most of our time at home means more time together, making memories in the mundane, and I am trying to not take one minute for granted.

My wish for 2022 is health for myself, my family and loved ones. 

Dear Jack - Part 3

Jackman, I can't believe you are THREE! Every day you feel like less like a baby and more like a little man. This past year you've grown so much - from swim lessons to potty training, our first keys vacation with you, and everything in between. You're talking in complete sentences and your imagination is endlessly entertaining. You are obsessed with trucks and excavators. Your current favorite color is red. It takes you exactly 20 minutes to warm up to anyone not in your village of family and friends - you quietly observe the room from the comfort of my lap until you slowly break out of your shell and act like your goofy and inquisitive self. You love to dance with us in your room, which mostly consists of you running in circles to music. You are thriving in school and I could not be prouder of the sweet, smart and silly boy you are becoming. 

I never want to forget the way your face lights up with joy over the most simple things, like finding an acorn on the sidewalk or seeing a tractor doing construction on the side of the road. I never want to forget the way you run full speed into my arms for a hug. I never want to forget the way you carry a book tucked under your arm for a bedtime story. I never want to forget how you so innocently ask, "Wanna play with me?" and I will drop anything I'm doing to join with you. I never want to forget the sound of your laugh and the way you say, "I love you" unprovoked that melts me every single time. 

The things you say are so funny and cute, and although I write these "Jackisms" down in your Jack Journal, I want to share a few of my favorites here too.

One night, you were squeezing my neck so hard while we hugged. I whispered in your ear, "Jack, you give the best hugs in the whole world." You softly whispered back in my ear, "I need to blow my nose."

You call Dada and I "guys" all the time and end every sentence with "kay?" Ex: "Hey guys, I'm going to get my legos, kay?"

You call all belts seatbelts and regularly critique my outfit. "Mama, why do you wear a seatbelt on your dress?"

While you were sitting on the kitchen counter I said you could only stay up there if an adult was nearby. You replied, "But you're not an adult. You're a mommy."

"Kitty can't give hugs because she doesn't have shoulders."

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Happy Birthday, baby boy. Celebrating you is easy. You are everything I dreamed for and more. I love you to the moon and back.